Since the nature of this post is obvious from the title, let’s get right to it: the last time I wore makeup was December 29, 2017—the day of my wedding, and as of today, one year ago. But I had been phasing it out long before then. This isn’t to say that it has been easy, but frankly, I’m just too angry to keep wearing it. I’m angry that in the beginning, I felt ugly without it. I’m angry that it took me months to feel pretty without it. I’m angry that I only felt worthy when I was wearing it. I’m angry that every time I meet someone new or start a new class, I think “Would I have made a better impression with makeup?” or “Will they think I’m ugly/not worthy without makeup on?”
I’m just so angry. Why are women only considered beautiful or worthy if they are wearing makeup? And before you say, “That’s not true, we are beautiful without makeup”—I know that. I am embracing it every day. But society tells us from a young age that women are only beautiful if they wear makeup. Look at Barbie. There isn’t a Barbie that exists today that isn’t wearing makeup. These societal expectations start young, and are toxic.
I get that every woman should be able to decide what her definition of beauty is and should do that, so if she feels more beautiful with makeup on, then that is her choice, but how can we make an unbiased decision about makeup in the first place if society has been telling us since day one that we are ugly and unacceptable without it? And it’s not just Barbie. Have any of you seen the show Ugly Betty? For the love of god. I haven’t seen the North American version, only the original Colombian version (yes, it was a series in Colombia first!), but I can tell you that in the Colombian version, as soon as Betty takes off her braces and embraces makeup and fancy hair dos, she gets the handsome man and the “happy” life.
But I digress. I see all the women around me wearing makeup, even the grandmas. And it makes me sad, and then it makes me angry. I end up spending a lot of my time thinking about societal expectations for women, and if the women I see around me have ever given them any thought. Would they still wear makeup if they took a minute to think about why they wear it? Would you?
Another reason I decided to stop wearing it was because I am ditching any societal expectation that is only expected of women. Full stop. Are men only acceptable with makeup? Hell no. All a man has to do to be considered acceptable is put on some deodorant and brush his teeth. We’re lucky if they put a comb through their hair. (Sorry guys, but it’s true!) Women have horrendously long morning routines, and for what? To be socially accepted as pretty. I’m just so tired of all the pressures that are put on women, and all the negativity that society puts in our heads. It took me months to get over my self doubt about leaving makeup behind, and it was principally because I was afraid people I met would consider me too unattractive or “let go” as a woman. Fuck that!
And that’s not to say that I wake up every day thinking I’m beautiful, on the contrary. It’s an effort every day to remind myself that I am beautiful as I am, worthy as I am, makeup free, and actually more beautiful because of it. I understand that the large majority of women will never think like me, but I challenge you all to think about WHY you actually wear makeup, and maybe to even go without it for a day or two. Maybe you’ll find that you like how it feels.
But most of all, I was tired of feeling like an object. Something to be looked at. Something to be consumed. And that’s how makeup makes me feel—it puts too much emphasis on how people perceive me, instead of how I perceive myself, which is more important than anything else.
(Nowadays I’m all about embracing comfort in my life, and to that end I’ve also given up wearing real pants and ‘real’ bras, but don’t even get me started!! That’s definitely a post for another day.)
