A year ago today (or rather yesterday) was one of the most stressful, and then relieving, days of my life. I (successfully, but I didn’t know it then) completed my Master’s exam.
My original idea for this post was for it to be one of positivity, and how I am a better person because of it, because I had already written a rather scathing post a while ago about how it felt to be in the middle of my Master’s degree. But the thing is, I’m not sure if I am a better person for having successfully completed a Master’s degree.
I know that I am more well-rounded, especially when it comes to, ahem, Hispanic literature. I know that I am more knowledgeable in the aforementioned field, and that I still remember many interesting (and not-so-interesting) tidbits that I often share, to the annoyance of many. At least maybe they learned a thing or two from me.
I know that I know myself better. Although I’m not sure of what I want, I know another thing that I definitely don’t want. My dreams, my desires, and most importantly, what I am capable of. I know the inner capacity I have to deal with stress, a lot of it.
I know that my love for reading has indeed only been reinforced, although for a while it felt as if it had disappeared.
I know that it is more important to go where your heart leads instead of continuing on the trajectory that society tells us is most important.
But I don’t know what I could have accomplished with these two years of my life. I don’t regret them, but I do think of the what ifs. I don’t know how different my life would be if I had never left Spain to begin with.
I don’t know if the Master’s degree has made me a better person, or simply a more knowledgeable one. I don’t know if all of the pain and struggle and mental anguish I went through was worth it. Because there were definitely times where I wasn’t sure how I would make it through.
But I do know this: I’m glad it’s over, and I’m glad I have a Master’s degree. For whatever that’s worth. More importantly, I am still amazed at what I accomplished and look back on passing the exam with pride, happiness, and relief. And of course I tell myself:
Keep on being amazing. 😉